Can You Handle All This Love That I've Got?

So last night I stumbled upon a link to download Teedra Moses' new mixtape "Royal Patience". I hadn't had a chance to listen to it, so on my way home tonight I decided to give it a listen. I'm a huge fan of Teedra, so my expectations were pretty high...and well...she did NOT disappoint!

It's pretty evident that from her last album to the mixtape she's been going through it in the love department (much like myself), so I could seriously relate to a lot of the songs. However, the one song that stuck out to me was a "freestyle" she did entitled "R U 4Real". Not sure who the producer is, but her vocals + the lyrics + the production is a match made in heaven. As soon as the chorus kicked in I swear to ya'll a moment of clarity came over me. It was almost as if all of my doubts/questions/insecurities faded and the heart/meat of my "love" situation became crystal clear.

It's NOT me.

It's never been ME.

The truth is that it's him. It's him not being ready and not in the "I'm not ready to commit" type of way. It's the "I'm not ready to handle what it means to be with someone like you." And for some strange reason this is okay with me. Well not "okay", but it takes the guilt and worry from off of my shoulders and allows me to see the situation for what it is. And to be honest, I can't even blame him. I know I'm a handful and I know that other people see that being with me means that you're past the bullshit, past the apathetic/ambivalent/idk wtf is going on stage in your life.

I realized that some of us are just not ready to be with someone who will unconditionally love us, trust us, and support us. Some of us are so used to doing everything on our own and being the backbone and foundation for everyone else in our lives, that having someone come in and play that role for us is overwhelming. I personally am open to finding someone like that, but you really have to be at a certain place in your life to be accepting of such a person. Some of us get there before and after others, and thats okay. There's no right or wrong, it just is what is.

I guess the next question is whether or not its worth waiting for the other person in your "love situation" to get to where you are. And if you are going to wait, how long is too long? Maybe the answer will be wrapped up like a bow in one of Teedra's other songs on this mixtape. I'll be listening...

I'm stil alive...

Wow.

It's been over a year since my last posting. I guess something in some random region of my brain told me to keep the domain name for a reason. So much has gone on in my life since my last posting. I've moved (not to NY tho), took my PR business to the next level, fell in, out and back in love, and have grown in so many areas of my life. Not only that, but I've been blessed to have had so many inspiring, phenomenal, and supportive people enter my life (both professionally and personally). There is absolutely NO WAY i can sit here and explain all the changes and details of the past year, so I'll just update you as I post...

The one thing that HASN'T changed much is my adoration for music and the happiness and peace you can find in her. My current "anthem" or "story of my life" is "Un-Thinkinable (I'm Ready)" by Alicia Keys. If you know me, you know how I feel about Ms. Keys, but even I can't deny the amazing-ness that is this song. I suggest you take a listen below...




Like I said...amazing lol.

And on that note, I'M BACK !